A few days ago, I wrote about my son, the Cadillac man. I call him this for his lifelong love of the brand, especially his grandfather’s 1989 Sedan de Ville, which was bequeathed to him. I wrote how the Cadillac man hates writing and only did what was necessary all through school, to my despair.
Sometimes the smallest things shift the universe in mighty ways. During my month-long daily Slice of Life Story Challenge, Cadillac man read my blog post from our dog Henry’s perspective and was inspired, for the first time in his twenty years, to write a story.
“I wonder,” he said, “if I can write a post from Nik’s perspective. To see if I can actually do it.”
He DID do it.
Then he said, of his own volition (wonders never cease!), “Mom, you can put it on your blog if you want to.”
Here’s what you need to know: Nik is our very old dachshund. We got him as a puppy when Cadillac man was only four. The old man in this story is my husband (“WHAT?” my husband howls with laughter—he’s loud, all right—”Old man? Really?”). The boys are Cadillac man and his big brother. Then there’s me.
Note the recurrence of Darkness. Cadillac man says to tell you that for Nik, “the Darkness” is being confined to a crate, the worst thing of all to him. The “something wrong” is my husband’s diagnosis of ocular melanoma two years ago, resulting in the loss of his eye.
Today, I celebrate my son’s writing. Again I say: When you finally show up for the writing, the writing shows up for you, and gets you through.
Published with permission from Cadillac man:
Nik’s Perspective
“Nikolaus, get back on your bed!”
The old man was screaming again. This was nothing unusual. He always seemed to be screaming at something. Whether it was at the people in the glowing window, or in the box he holds to his head, he screamed at everything. I don’t even think he’s angry most of the time; he just seems to be perpetually screaming.
The difference now is that I can barely hear it.
In January, I celebrated my sixteenth birthday. Sixteen years of life, celebrated in one short day.
When I was born, the first Human I had was an elderly lady, not much older than me in human years now. I don’t remember much about her, but I remember the Darkness. The closed-in Darkness that haunts me to this day. I still have to endure it occasionally, but it’s nothing like it was. The Darkness was always there; it enveloped me and I couldn’t leave it until the mesh door was opened, and back then it was only open for eats.
My first vivid memory was when I met them. The loud old man, the (then) teenager, the (then) toddler, and her. Oh, how I loved her. She always filled my bowl just right, she always gave the treats I loved, and she was the warmest lap to nap on. She was also the one who took me to the white place, which was almost as bad as the Darkness. The white place was where these humans poked and prodded me and gave me the needle. But if I was a good boy, which I always was, she, the teenager, or the toddler would give me a treat.
Most of my time was spent with the two He’s, the teenager and the toddler. I vividly remember nights spent curled up in their arms. Those were the warmest places. I felt safe there. I’ve seen the teenager grow into a man, leave the home, make a life for himself, and come back. And I saw the toddler grow into his 20s. I saw him through every hardship, every death, every break-up, and every victory. I remember his long sleepless nights as he stayed awake holding me for warmth, as I am a very warm dog. I remember the sudden screaming at night that would scare me to death at first, but I got used to it and eventually learned how to wake him up when it happened.
I remember all the other associates I had over the years. Some left to find other families, and some left when their time down here was no more. There was Duke, the tough yellow one with whom I worked the first six years of my life, until heartworms took him way too soon. There was Toby, who came after Duke, who was a bit older than me. He was a great partner until he just didn’t wake up one morning. There was Phoebe, Godiva, Tex (I’m not convinced he was even a real creature of this earth). There was Natalie, whose tenure here was ended after an altercation left me with a bloody nose.
Then came the dark day. I don’t understand exactly what it was; perhaps I never will. All I remember was the loud old man coming home, looking defeated and unsure. I remember being in the big room with the glowing window, which wasn’t glowing at that time. I couldn’t understand what was going on, but suddenly the whole room fell completely dark, like the Darkness had gotten control of the Humans. I knew there had to be something wrong with the old man. I had never really liked him. He was loud and scary. But I knew I had to do the right thing. I spent that whole day curled up next to him, which I rarely did. He seemed so calm and so quiet that it worried me.
The old man is back to his old self again, with the exception that I don’t think he can see very well anymore. But for that matter, neither can I.
My only way of finding out where I am or who I’m with is by smelling. I can’t find my bowl on my own anymore, but every morning they still fill it just right, and I eat every bite. I can’t walk up the steps to the room where I sleep, but the toddler-now-20-year-old still carries me up there every night. There are two other associates who do most of the comfort and protection work for me. There’s Banjo, the loud boisterous one who stays outside and protects from intruders, and Henry, who stays inside with me and tries his best to make me stay in my bed, even if it gets on my nerves. They both will carry my torch of comfort and protection long after I’m gone, I have no doubt. The Humans are in good hands with these two.
These humans were my life. I spent years as their comforter, their walking partner, their protector, and their friend. They saved me from the Darkness that could’ve endured my entire life. And as I sit here, just waiting, all I can hope for is that I saved them from their Darkness, too.
-Nikolaus Haley, expert red dachshund
Aww…so precious. What a moment-a sweet, sweet moment. I’m so glad he let you share it. I learned much about your fam through the eyes of the pup. Love it!
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Thanks, Amy. I knew he COULD do it, just that he never wanted to – oh, what a difference it makes to write about the precious things that matter most you!
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This is amazing. Cadillac Man has the gift of storytelling just like his mom. He captured so much here. The nature of each member of your family and your connection. What a piece. Thank you both for sharing this.
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It’s been inside him all along; finally it pours forth. I sat for a long time, re-reading, when he finished. A hallowed moment. Thank you, Jessica. I will pass the comments on to him.
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So, you’ve got me practically weeping, sitting here at my dining room table at 5 in the morning.
Such a wonderful story, how your post sparked your son’s writing. And what writing it is. So completely in the dog’s voice, with his perceptions. So much showing-not-telling. So many deep themes in his piece. Please tell him we think he’s a very good writer.
I’m sharing your post today with my 29 year old son who should write more, and who also loves dogs tremendously.
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Now I’m weeping … thank you, Fran. I will tell him. I would love to know how it goes with your son.
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Sometimes the smallest things shift the universe in mighty ways. Really. Mighty. Ways. That was a wonderful story.
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Thank you so much; I will be sure he sees this.
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That last line!! Oh my goodness. Please tell your son he has a gift- like you! For a person who never writes, this is an outstanding piece (it’s outstanding if he wrote all the time too- but ever more impressive since you said writing hasn’t been his thing.) Such empathy in this piece and such wisdom from Nik the dog.
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I keep re-reading it with wonder, even though I know my son is a deeply empathetic person. My heart is singing. Thank you, Kathleen.
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I’m happy for you, whose voice found others. I’m happy for Caddy Man, who found his voice in others, I’m happy for Nikolaus who now has a voice that will speak to others,and live beyond his years. Writing is an amazing thing..
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Thanks for celebrating with me so beautifully and you’re so right – writing is an amazing thing.
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Wow! I love that he was inspired by you. Clearly he has stories to tell. I love the way he explains things through the dog’s eyes (but obviously with your son’s heart). Really moving piece (and knowing the backstory of what got him writing, wow!).
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Thank you & I so hope he’ll write more stories now.
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I am crying. Your son’s writing did that. Nik’s doggie wisdom did that, too. The ending reminds me of Oliver Jeffer’s most recent book, Here We Are: Notes for Living on Planet Earth. It made me cry, too.
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Oh my, Chris. I shared your response with my son & Nik. I think they’re surprised by the chord they’ve struck. And I must read this book.
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A writer needs something to say and your son had something to say which left me with tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat. To answer his wondering if he could write from Nik’s perspective – I give an emphatic YES! So much love for this little dog! Okay Cadillac Man, now what are you going to write? 🙂
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He does love that little dog so much. He hasn’t answered on what he’ll write next -!
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I like how he referred to the other strays and/or pets throughout the years as “associates”. Well written!
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I found this so humorous but at the same time, see a kind of truth in the “associates” part. I wouldn’t have thought of it!
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I was smiling throughout this whole piece and then I reached the final paragraph. By the final sentence I was in tears. He writes very much like you. It’s full of vivid imagery and left with something to mull over the next few days.
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