Henry writes

Dear Readers,

First of all, hello.

I didn’t realize you were out there. Apologies.

I was only sniffing around to see what She is doing all the time on this, this . . . annoying Electrical Thing. I am forced of late to spend a great deal of time sitting on the kitchen rug by her chair instead of on the sofa where She will cuddle with Me. Granted, I can cuddle with a He (there are three from which to choose), but, as She has the warmest lap, She makes the best pillow.

I cannot figure out what’s so compelling about this Electrical Thing, other than, as I’ve just discovered—having inadvertently hit a movable part—there being a story here about ME.

Well. I don’t know what to think. And that accompanying photo of me-! I am aghast.

Do not tell Her this but I tried getting rid of that unflattering story. I confess that I don’t know how to make it go away. But I am, if I don’t say so Myself, a quick learner, as you can see, although it is taking Me a while to tap this out with one nail.

I do have stories, some that you might need to know, and others from long ago that—well, I prefer not to talk about long ago when I was found living on the streets. It brings a shudder even to this day. If I seem, ahem, needy [air quotes], there are reasons: I have loved, lost, and been lost.

-Hang on. She’s supposed to be sleeping. Must check. Be right back.

[clickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclick . . . 

clickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclick]

Gracious, how loud My nails are on the hardwood floor when the house is quiet! I’ve been in trouble yet again for biting them, but, HELLO, it’s time for a pedicure, if Anyone cares.

In the interest of time, before They All wake up: Rest assured that I will be vigilant about policing what is said about Me here, as vigilant as I am over what that abhorrent, slobbery yellow monster out back is doing, the foul fiend that She talks to so nicely in the voice meant for Me and ONLY ME, that incessant barker, copious shedder (My own hair, very, very fine, just comes off in wee, hardly perceptible amounts), that, that ANIMAL whose story has, unbelievably, won some kind of recognition, if My ears didn’t deceive me whilst pretending to be asleep during recent conversations.

-Egregious.

Happy to make your acquaintance, however. Until next time, I leave you with a far better image of Me, bedecked in My holiday finery:

Fondly,

HRH (Henry Rollins Haley)

Paterfamilias, Dominus, Master of the House

18 thoughts on “Henry writes

    • HRH is snoozing on the sofa, having had breakfast and the first of his bazillion treats of the day, so I’ll answer of his behalf: Thank you! Yes, he really is incredibly observant and clever.

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    • Thank you, Melanie. So glad you enjoyed. Henry (er, excuse me, I didn’t know he thinks of himself as HRH, and how apropos, since it also stands for His Royal Highness) – anyway, he makes it clear to one and all that I belong to him first. As a personal masseuse, mostly …

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    • I am blushing. It’s hard to tell, but I am. Really. Thank you for the compliment. Please tell My Friend Lily that the writing is much easier than trying to speak, since We aren’t wired to vocalize properly. My best to her in this venture. And do forgive the gravatar; I had to use Hers as I haven’t one of My own (how maddening).
      Yours Truly,
      HRH

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  1. So glad to hear from Henry! Now that we know a little of his back story, it’s no wonder he feels the need for attention. Though with an attitude like his, Haughty Henry might be a better moniker!

    Liked by 1 person

    • You encouraged him, Chris -! When Henry was found, he was about a year old. My son saw his profile on the shelter website. Henry (as yet that wasn’t his name) was wearing a blue scarf. Very Oliver Twist. The staff said he needed to gain some confidence. In the two years since he’s been in the family, his self-confidence has skyrocketed. At times, yes, it becomes overmuch! So glad you enjoyed his story.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Henry, you are one fine canine! I happen to love that previous photo of you. What a vocabulary you have! Must be because She talks to you a lot. Hope you write again before the end of the month.

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    • Dear Elsie,
      I can tell you are an extraordinary Person. You probably have an infinite supply of treats. Thank you for your grace about the previous picture. As to my vocabulary: My Family and I watch Jeopardy every single night. I am sure it’s built My word power. I’m delighted that I can put it to use in writing since I am not wired to verbalize well. But She does talk to me a lot, too. I must think on what else I might write! Thank you ever so much.
      Warmly,
      HRH

      Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Rose,
      Thank you for acknowledging my intellect. It’s a blessing and a curse. I feel certain that I’d enjoy Cyrus – what a regal-sounding name! I admire it. I celebrate his good fortune and Mine, having landed in the laps of luxury, so to speak.
      My best to you and Sir Cyrus,
      HRH

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  3. Dear Joyous,
    Thank you for your compliment on My holiday sweater. I am very fond of it Myself. Thank you for your mention of My writing skills as well; I really had no idea, as I’ve not attempted writing before! Yes, She is very lucky, indeed, to have Me; I am quite good to Her, after all. And allow Me to say that I am enraptured by your fantastic name. Splendid!
    Most sincerely,
    HRH

    Like

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