Compassion: a spiritual journey

My friend Kim Johnson chose the Spiritual Journey Thursday theme for October.

Kim is in the process of grieving her father. As she puts it: “I’m in the anger stage of grief, and along with everything else going on the world, I’m feeling the word COMPASSION calling to me as this month’s topic. I need to have more of it as I work my way toward acceptance.”

Compassion literally means to suffer together. The distress of another person sparks within us an intense desire to alleviate it. It is one of the purest facets of our humanity. Not mere emotion. Compassion is complex: I see your suffering. I am wiling to enter it, to help you.

There’s also a thing called compassion fatigue. It comes from prolonged exposure to traumatic events or being overwhelmed by the suffering of others, ultimately leading to physical, mental, and spiritual depletion. Our wellspring of compassion dries up. We find ourselves numb, in a desert devoid of hope, crushed beneath a boulder of distrust, breathing an atmosphere deprived of positivity. What is the point of it all, anymore?

The point is that we all need help. We want to get rid of the pain and anxiety eating us alive. We would heal ourselves, were it in our own power—even as our souls rage and wage war. Our fiery reaction, our fierce retaliation, is a temporary outlet that cannot bring true satisfaction, because it can never bring the peace we crave. How can we find peace when we are so unable to live peaceably? The fight is a wounded animal’s, a defense mechanism when existence is threatened. For…being alive… the innermost part of us is crying out against the knowledge that we will die.

I will speak now of the snake.

A week ago my granddaughter, almost four years old, asked: “Franna, do you like snakes?” She is asking all sorts of intriguing questions: Why is this your house? Why are you my Dad’s mother? She is forming her understanding of the world and affirming her place in it.

I answered as honestly I could. I do not want her to be afraid, like I was, for most of my life: “Do I like snakes? Not especially. But they can be helpful.”

Someday I will tell her how my Granddaddy taught me never to kill black snakes because they eat rats and mice. I may never tell her how he hacked copperheads to death with his hoe, or that when he became too elderly to manage the hoe, he shot them with his shotgun. It wasn’t that he didn’t like snakes. He was protecting his grandchildren and great-grandchildren from potential harm. Out of his love for us.

Note here how the spiritual journey employs foreshadowing. A thing is encountered; give it time. It is soon to reappear with greater significance. A portent.

The week after the snake question, I was at school, walking students down the sidewalk at dismissal, when I saw it, there on the cement by the edge of the grass: A little gray snake. Dead. Its body twisted, white belly frozen in an upward arch.

My first thought: It died painfully, in the act of writhing.

Second thought: Why aren’t the kids flipping out?

Not a one of them noticed the snake lying there.

Not that day, nor the next, or the next.

But I saw it, and it flooded me with…compassion.

For a snake, a creature I recently confessed to not especially liking.

It was alone. Abandoned. Not seen.

It was little. Not venomous (an earth snake). Not harmful.

And it was dead, with no one to acknowledge its existence or to mourn its passing.

I actually mourned it. I am sorry that it suffered, spiraling on itself in great pain as it died.

I am sorry we all have to suffer and die.

Every time I passed the snake the words mortal coil came to mind. Hamlet: When we have shuffled off this mortal coil…

I suppose that is the whole of the spiritual journey, is it not? Shuffling off this mortal coil. Someday shedding this battered body, being freed of the suffering.

Freedom from suffering is the very meaning behind the caduceus, symbol of the medical field. Snakes coiled around a staff. Odd. It just so happens if you research “symbols of compassion,” the caduecus appears. We do not think of it as representing compassion, but healing.

It is also linked to peace.

Many myths are behind the symbol, notably one in which the Greek messenger god, Hermes (Mercury in Roman mythology) saw two snakes fighting and cast his wand between them. The snakes gave up the battle and entertwined themselves peacefully around the wand.

In the Bible, God tells Moses to cast a bronze serpent and place it on a wooden pole as a cure for poisonous snakebite, a direct consequence of the people’s continued rebellion. God, out of his great compassion, provided a cure: Anyone bitten by a snake was healed of its venom by looking at the serpent on the staff, “high and lifted up.”

Herein lies THE point. Is there an antidote to the suffering we experience from the beginning of our existence, all the physical pain, mental anguish, and the thing we fear most—loss? Is it fighting venom with venom, or is it the active decision to stop battling each another, to cease provoking, retaliating, mocking, belittling, degrading, and causing more harm, until we seal our own destruction in utter carnage? Or is it a matter of realizing we’re all snakebit, and in the act of trying to alleviate another’s suffering, we ease our own? Can desperately-needed relief come in the very midst of our pain by desiring to help another….in compassion, “suffering together?” Not pulling others into our pain, but pulling ourselves into theirs?

Is this not THE point of Christ’s ministry and mission? He saw the suffering of people around him, out of compassion. He healed out of compassion. He wept at death for the ugly, unnatural thing it is, out of compassion. He was tortured and gave up his own life for broken humanity, out of compassion.

Compassion is born of love. Selfless love. Sacrifical love. As long as we have such love…we have hope.

Lest I sound too idealistic…today is my father’s birthday. A week ago today marked the twenty-third anniversary of his sudden death and the implosion of our family. It might as well have been dismemberment. Pain sliced us apart like a mighty warrior’s well-honed sword.

It isn’t supposed to be this way.

Someday, someday, we will shuffle off our heavy mortal coil and discover how great God’s compassion truly is…as well as his power to reverse and restore.

Until then, let us keep trusting. Let us wrap our wounds and our arms around each other. The pain will not disappear, not yet; but we can help each other through it.

That’s what the journey is for.

with special thanks to Kim — I hold you in my heart and prayers each day —
and to the SJT band of writers, for so often inspiring me to rise above.


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9 thoughts on “Compassion: a spiritual journey

  1. Fran, I’m in teary awe of the truth and comfort here in the healing writing that you so freely share. Thank you for taking the topic of compassion and finding the very pinnacle of its wide blanketing, showing us, and then taking us down to the depths of the roots to its source – – straight into the heart and into our love for others. I needed to hear that this pain I feel is all because of deep love, even as every stage of grief continues to spiral (coil) and come full circle back in a wave of crippling force like that coiled snake writhing on a sidewalk in full view but not seen. That snake is worthy of a lot of thought. I’m glad you mourned the little earth snake. I have always had a healthy fascination with them and joined my state’s snake page to learn how to quickly identify them and to turn any fear into healthy respect. I will carry your words with me and will return many times in the coming week to your post to process more and more and more of all that you share here. I feel the hugs, and I hug back for the loss of your father, and for the circle of family everywhere, and for this group that doesn’t just come along with a Kleenex to wipe away tears but to shed a few, too. Thank you, friend!

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  2. Fran, such beautiful wisdom here, except for the snake part. Ha! My grandchildren know that I hate snakes and they play with that fear. I keep rubber snakes in the toy bin in my car, so we have lots of discussions about my unreasonable fear. Thanks for all of the ways you found that snakes are good and symbolic. But mostly, thanks for sharing your thoughts on compassion. The pain will not disappear. We have to find ways to be in it with each other rather than deny it or at worst, not even see it. Thank you for showing up for Spiritual Thursday.

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  3. Fran, these words spoke to me: “I suppose that is the whole of the spiritual journey, is it not? Shuffling off this mortal coil. Someday shedding this battered body, being freed of the suffering.” Watching my brother’s body being ravaged by cancer, I take comfort in knowing he has shaken off this mortal coil and is once again whole in God’s loving arms. I think the loss of someone dear to us makes us all think about our own mortality. It is this that helps us reach out to others when they need us and to also accept help from others when we need it most. There is comfort in knowing that we are not alone. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. We can help each other through the pain.

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  4. Let me start again! Hi, Fran! I have been missing you! When I read Kim’s post, I saw your response and knew I needed to head on over to your blog. It was not a surprise to me that it was about compassion. It was not a surprise that you wove in family and nature, and you did so beautifully giving support to your friend and all who read your words. I am happy I stopped by. Your words, your stories live in my head, and I am comforted. Thank you.

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  5. Fran, there is so much to take in from your blog post. This one statement is all incompassing: “The point is that we all need help“. We cannot be alone. The Spiritual Journey is not just one day, one month, or one year. We need a choir of voices to understand how to be compassionate. We cannot stand alone. We must believe that.

    The prompt allows each one of us to see a different version of how we can become compassionate.

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  6. Hi Fran: Thank you, as always, for your wonderful post. The idea of suffering together brings to mind the strong bonds that veterans feel for each other, especially those in their own unit. Their shared experiences knit strong bonds. I also appreciate the compassion you had for the little snake. Sometimes these poor creatures tear at our hearts. We have no idea how they suffer. Thanks again, and many blessings. Karen

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  7. Fran, what a beautiful piece you’ve written about compassion! It led me to think back to walking with a friend on 9/11 as we tried to process that horrific event. She told me that when we bear one another’s burdens, we help to lighten their burdens by carrying some of it ourselves. I’ve tried to remember this through the years that we can help others carry their burdens through prayer and by being present, even though we cannot always change the outcome

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  8. Oh Fran…this is beautiful. Your words speak of our universal suffering…and how, if nothing else, in suffering together we might find meaning and healing. If Jesus’ life meant anything, it seems to me it was to model how to love one another. Especially when we are suffering. Thank you for this deep reflection.

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